It Hits Me Like A Truck

Here I am, sitting in bed wishing I could muster up the energy to get up. But instead, my body has other ideas, so here I lay. Sometimes I think my body is failing me, and other times I think it's just the doctors incompetency in diagnosing me. I have worn heart monitors, had EKG's, ultrasounds, and nothing. The only person that can hear a murmur is the nurse practitioner, but what can she really do? If the cardiologist can't hear it, then it just isn't there, I guess.

For over a year I have had irregular heartbeats, and no one can tell me why. Usually I am fine with it, but times like now, it really hits me. I thought the only trigger was alcohol, but there is obviously another one I can't see. When I have an episode I am extremely fatigued, I got my first migraine last night, my vision worsens, I can't focus, and get the occasional sharp pain in my chest. You would think the doctors would know what to do! I am just so frustrated. We are supposed to be doing lessons, going to the store, or just having a great day. I hate that I can't do that right now! I need my body to be stronger for my family. I need to put a name to my condition. I need medication to fix me. I need to feel better.